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As “notícias” são inequívocas: estamos na mira do terrorismo. Internacional? Sim. Mas do nacional também estamos. Na mira da mouche.
Explico-me: ele há dois terrorismos. Um é o bom. O bom é sempre cristão. Cristão e nosso. O outro é o mau, que nunca é cristão, muito menos nosso. O mau é sempre o de lá de fora. Por exemplo, o do Paquistão, país sobre o qual cheguei a fazer cópias e redacções na escola primária daquele tempo em que o senhor Presidente da República de então, almirante Américo Thomaz, usava sapatilhas brancas como uma enfermeira anacrónica e apardalada.
O terrorismo bom é o de cá. É o do moçárabe António Nunes, também por exemplo, esse senhor que apenas fuma cigarrilhas de jackpot e que só deve sonhar com colheres de pau e outras islamices do género.
Que Mafoma abomine o toucinho, vá que não vá: também nós queimámos, em alegres e popularuchos autos-de-fé, as irradiações gentias do Porco Sujo. Que a Mourama ainda não tenha percebido o teor humano das mulheres, não vá que vá: nós por cá, tirando talvez o BCP, até as deixamos trabalhar de cabeça descoberta, sobretudo para as termos por conta. Agora que a Cristandade continue gerando antónios-nunes e cigarrilhas, não me parece bem.
Na raiz profunda da cisão entre “civilizações” (a boa, que é a nossa, e a péssima, que é a deles) estão vários factores: as telenovelas da TVI, o preço do sabão azul, a RTP Memória e a proibição do SG Gigante quando a Lua fecha as Portas do Sol.
Como moro num sítio sossegado, o único terrorismo a que estou sujeito é o consumo imoderado de ginjas ao balcão da Genoveva, uma senhora que criou os catorze filhos com biberões de vidro verde rolhados a cortiça e desrolhados com os dentes. Tirando isso, tudo é tranquilo. Os milícias do senhor António Nunes nunca aqui vieram nem hão-de vir, até porque nós olhamos os lírios do campo e sabemos que o nosso reino é deste mundo. Como nunca passámos um fim-de-ano em casino algum, jamais confundimos o mau-maria com o Maomede. Nem enfermeira com sapatilha.

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